Losing a spouse is the worst experience in life, as the world tends to change. The feeling of grief and sorrow at the loss is too much to compare. There are no rules about how one should feel, and there is no right or wrong way to mourn the loss of a dear one.
When grieving, the feeling of both physical and emotional pain overshadows one’s life, along with the experience of having trouble sleeping, a low appetite, a loss of concentration, and problems with decision-making, among others.
People differ in the way they feel. Some people feel better sooner than they expect, while others may take longer. As time passes, some people may still miss their spouses. But for most people, the intense pain will lessen. There will be good and bad days.
After the loss of her husband, Hellen Kemigisa Mukasa experienced a difficult time. From losing her husband to her matrimonial home.
Hellen and Mukasa had been married for fourteen years (2006–2021). Having met at her workplace, Hellen decided to quit her job after their wedding to become a housewife in order to take care of her children and home.
All was paradise until June 2021, when Mukasa got involved in a car accident and passed away. For a while, she could not believe that her husband was gone forever. Hellen started wondering how she would manage without him.
The company where Mukasa worked only helped by giving him a befitting burial. It was now time for Hellen to fend for the family.
Within less than two months of Mukasa’s demise, his family chased Hellen and the children out of the house. This was a shock to her, as she could not believe how heartless people can be after having given this marriage her all.
“One Saturday morning, I was at home, and I heard a hoot at the gate. I sent my maid to open the door, only to see my late husband’s siblings and his mother come out of the car. I thought that they had come to visit us, but no, they had come to evict me and the children from the house!” Hellen explained her painful experience.
Hellen said that she was called all sorts of names in addition to being given minutes to pack and leave the house. What she could afford to buy were her clothes and those of the children.
They did not let her take the car, so she just moved out of the gate with her children, boarded a taxi, and went to a hotel for that afternoon, according to Hellen.
“I think something was wrong with me because I did not object to the eviction,” she said.
She said that it wasn’t until the night that she later realized that she had lost her marital home.
After some days, the little money she had got used up. She was now staying in a single room with her children in Katanga, she narrated.
One morning, she thought of taking her life. “I woke up, and I did not see the meaning of life. I went to a pharmacy, bought enough aspirins, went back in the house, and swallowed them. In minutes, I was on the floor. My daughter rushed out and called a neighbor, who came and rescued me. On waking up, I found myself in the hospital,” said Hellen.
According to Hellen, during her recovery, the first person she saw was her pastor, who counseled and prayed with her. This gave her hope for tomorrow.
She said that the pastor cleared hospital bills, and on the day of her discharge, he came with the children. To her surprise, they had rented her a two-bedroom house in Mutundwe.
Two weeks later, one of the church members gave her a phone call and asked if she could work as a customer care consultant for a telecom company, which she agreed to, and she was employed.
It has been over one year since Hellen got back on her feet after living behind her painful past.
“The Lord has been good to me. I cannot believe that I can fend for my family. I have moved on and forgiven my in-laws,” she said.
She added that she hopes that one day she will forget what her in-laws made her go through.
