Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and while many women look forward to celebrating with their loved ones, those involved in illicit affairs with married men should slacken their expectations. It is essential to acknowledge the complexities and limitations of such relationships, especially on a day meant for monogamous love and commitment.
According to Patricia Anywar , a marriage counselor from Bukoto a Kampala suburb, when a man is married, his primary commitment is to his spouse and family. As much as he may care for his mistress, his responsibilities and loyalties lie elsewhere. On Valentine’s Day, his attention and resources are likely to be focused on his wife and family, leaving little room for grand gestures or public displays of affection with his mistress.
“As mentioned earlier, married men have a responsibility to prioritize their family commitments, especially on special occasions like Valentine’s Day,” Anywar added.
Speaking to Nexus Media, Gerald Baguma a resident of Kisosonkole zone in Nakawa divison said that expecting Valentine’s Day Favors from a married man is unrealistic due to the nature of secrecy and discretion of such a relationship.
“Relationships with married men often require secrecy, therefore making public celebrations like Valentine’s Day challenging or impossible. No married man would want to be seen with his mistress or side chic on such a day. Everyone who will see them will automatically draw conclusions because he can not even lie that it was an official or business meeting,” Baguma said.
According to Caleb Ssebagayunga a boda boda from Najjera in Kira municipality, married men struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety, hence limiting their emotional availability and capacity for romance.
Women involved with married men should therefore be aware of these limitations and manage their expectations accordingly. Rather than anticipating Valentine’s Day presents or outings, they should focus on the unique aspects of their relationship and find ways to celebrate that are authentic and respectful of the circumstances.
While it is natural to desire romantic gestures and celebrations, women having secret affairs with married men should acknowledge the complexities and limitations of such relationships.
In setting realistic expectations and prioritizing emotional well-being, they avoid disappointment and cultivate a more authentic connection with their partners.
