Going through a separation or divorce can be very difficult no matter the reason. It can turn your world upside down and make it hard to get through the work day and stay productive but there are things you can do to get through this difficult adjustment.

Recognize that it is okay to have different feelings: For instance, it is normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused, which feelings can be intense. One may also feel anxious about the future. However, it is important to accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. But even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.

Give yourself a break: Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you are accustomed to for a little while. No one is a superman or superwoman, you need to take time to heal, regroup and re-energize.

Do not go through this alone: Sharing your feelings with friends and family could help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others going through similar situations. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and affect your work, relationships and overall health. Do not be afraid to get an external help outside your circle, if you need it.

Take care of yourself emotionally and physically: Be good to yourself and to your body. Take time out to exercise, eat well and relax. Keep to your normal routines as much as possible. However, try to avoid making major decisions or changes in life plans. Do not use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes as a way to cope because they only lead to more problems.

Twinomujuni one of the victims of divorce revealed that after divorcing his wife, it was hard for him to cope with life not until he was taken to London for rehabilitation by his relative.

“After divorcing my wife, it was hard for me to cope with life, probably I was not ready for this. I resorted to drinking alcohol day in day out until I lost it. Through the help of my cousin brother who had visited the country, he convinced me to go to London with him where I was checked in a rehabilitation center. Otherwise, I would be dead by now,” Twinomujuni revealed.

Avoid power struggles and arguments with your spouse or former spouse: If a discussion begins to turn into a fight, calmly suggest that you both try talking again later and either walk away or hang up the phone.

Take time to explore your interests: Reconnect with things you enjoy doing apart from your spouse. Have you always wanted to take up painting or play on an intramural softball team? Sign up for a class, invest time in your hobbies, volunteer, and take time to enjoy life and make new friends.

Think positively: Things may not be the same, but finding new activities and friends, and moving forward with reasonable expectations will make this transition easier. Be flexible. If you have children, family traditions will still be important but some of them may need to be adjusted. Help create new family activities.

Life will get back to normal, although “normal” may be different from what you had originally hoped.

If there are children involved , try as much as possible not to let your situation affect them. Make sure your children know that your divorce is not their fault. Listen to them and ease their concerns and be compassionate but direct in your responses.

Maintain stability and routine: Try to keep your children’s daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible.

Offer consistent discipline: Now that your children may share time with both parents separately, make sure to agree in advance on bedtimes, curfews and other everyday decisions as well as any punishments.

Let your children know they can rely on you: Make and keep realistic promises and do not overly confide in them about your feelings about the divorce.

Do not involve your children in the conflict: Avoid arguing with or talking negatively about the other parent in front of your children. Do not use them as spies or messengers or make them take sides.

Currently, there are high levels of divorce and separation world wide simply because some couples rush into marriage without first getting to understand each other, being desperate, while others are forced into marriage due to the man’s financial status. Nevertheless, when faced with divorce or separation, take up the above to move on easily.