By Constance Kiconco

There’s a new sound in the air; loud, frustrated, and painfully consistent. It’s the voice of a generation that believes they’re owed everything, yet rarely stop to ask themselves what they owe in return.

There’s a growing noise in our homes, schools, and places of worship. It’s the sound of young people who believe they are victims of parenting.

Many of them are growing up thinking they deserve everything and must do nothing in return. They are quick to demand, but slow to reflect. They know their rights, but they don’t want to hear about responsibilities.

During one session with teenagers, a 14-year-old girl said something that stuck with me:

“My parents don’t understand. They don’t listen. They are too much! They are like law enforcement officers. I can’t wait to leave their house. They don’t even allow me to visit my friends. Home feels like a prison.”

These are not just complaints; they are warning signs. Many parents today are dealing with children who feel trapped, even when all their basic needs are being met: food, clothes, education, and love.

So, I calmly asked her a few questions:

– What values do you stand for?

She was silent.

– What have your parents taught you?

She replied slowly, “To be responsible, to listen, to respect people and authority.” _

– And what haven’t you done among the things they’ve taught you?

_She looked down and started thinking.

– If I called your parents right now, what would they say about you?

She didn’t answer.

– Do your parents provide your basic needs?

“Yes,” she said quickly.

– If you left home, what would your parents miss about you?

She looked confused. She didn’t have an answer.

That moment hit hard; for her and for me. It showed me something we all need to face: some of our children don’t know how to be grateful. They don’t take responsibility for their actions. And maybe, just maybe, it’s because we haven’t made them face the consequences of their choices.

Let’s be honest: today’s children are starting to judge their parents unfairly. And it’s not always because the parents are wrong. Sometimes, it’s because they are copying what they hear from their friends. Many of them gather with others who feel the same, and together, they paint parents as the enemies.

Even worse, some parents are now afraid of their own children. Yes—afraid. I’ve seen it. Some children threaten to become violent. Others use emotional blackmail or simply go quiet, using silence to control the home.

In one session, I witnessed a boy look his mother in the eyes and say:

“That’s why my father left you. That’s why we are suffering.”

Imagine the pain of hearing that; from the same child you carried, fed, and sacrificed for.

But how did we get here?

We stopped correcting. We allowed everything. We feared being too strict, so we went too soft. Some of us started treating our children like visitors; not like sons and daughters being raised with purpose.

Now, some children think they run the house. They negotiate every rule, talk back when corrected, and refuse to be guided.

But freedom without guidance is dangerous.

It’s time we go back to the basics of parenting. Our children must know that every right comes with a responsibility. That respect must go both ways. That a home is not a hotel, and parents are not servants.

Let’s stop raising children who expect the world to serve them. Let’s raise children who know how to serve the world.

We must parent with love, but also with strength. We must stop being afraid to correct, to guide, to discipline. It’s our job to prepare them for real life, not to entertain them into destruction.

Let’s shift the goal of parenting from raising ” feeling good” children to raising grounded, responsible adults. Let’s reintroduce discipline, values, and hard conversations. Let’s teach our children that respect is not optional, and authority is not the enemy.

Yes, the world is different. But responsibility will never go out of fashion. And without it, no generation will survive, let alone lead.

Because if we don’t teach them now, the world will teach them later, and it won’t be kind.

The Author is Child and Adolescent Therapist at Mulago Hospital